By Vicky Sidler | Published 26 January 2026 at 12:00 GMT+2

Let me start with the part that sounds like a joke.

Every morning, I read a eulogy I wrote for myself. Yes, a eulogy. For me. While very much alive.

It’s part of Donald Miller’s Hero on a Mission routine, and despite the dark-sounding setup, it’s weirdly hopeful. You write about the person you want to become—then spend your days pretending you already are that person. A kind, focused, grounded version of yourself. Which is a nice contrast to the one who forgets her password twice before breakfast.

At some point, I noticed something.

My small identity-based affirmations—“I am someone who brings calm to chaotic projects” or “I finish what I start”—actually worked better than any SMART goal I’d ever set. Especially the ones with charts.

Turns out, there’s research to back this up.

TLDR:

• SMART goals are great for rigid structures but fall apart when life gets messy

• Small affirmations support your identity, which makes behaviour stick longer

• They’re especially helpful if you’re neurodivergent, sensitive to pressure, or just allergic to deadlines

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Table of Contents:

The Case Against SMART Goals (If You’re Wired Like Me):

Let’s start with what SMART goals were built for. Factories. Corporates. Environments where someone needs to hit a number and someone else is keeping score.

The moment your toddler gets sick, your workload triples, or you just need a nap instead of a spreadsheet, that whole system turns into a guilt machine. SMART goals assume a perfect world. Most small businesses do not qualify.

Why They Break:

• They don't allow flexibility. There’s no room to adjust without feeling like you’ve failed.

• They reward outcome, not effort. If you almost made it, it still counts as “no.”

• They ignore your mood, motivation, energy level, and everything else that makes you human.

Also, let’s be honest. If you’re neurodivergent, easily overwhelmed, or simply resistant to being told what to do (even by yourself), SMART goals can make you feel like a very organised failure.

What Works Better—Small Identity-Based Affirmations:

Psychologists call them process goals, but really they’re just things you tell yourself that help you act like the person you want to be.

Not “I will write five blogs this month.”
But “I am someone who writes to help people.”

Not “Lose 10kg by April.”
But “I am someone who honours my body.”

The shift here is from performance to identity. From deadlines to direction.

Why This Works:

• It taps into intrinsic motivation. You want to do it because it matters to you.

• It builds resilience. You’re less likely to quit when things wobble.

• It’s self-reinforcing. The more you show up as that person, the more it becomes real.

Plus, science says your brain starts rewiring itself when you repeat these affirmations daily. Tiny habits compound, especially when they’re linked to your sense of self.

Who It Works Best For:

• Perceiving types (MBTI Ps) who hate rigid plans

• Highly sensitive people who get overwhelmed easily

• ADHD brains that run on interest rather than obligation

• Anyone who’s burnt out and can’t face another spreadsheet

And if your inner critic tends to yell when you miss a checkbox, this way lets you keep moving without waiting for a pep talk or a productivity app to save you.

What I’ve Learned from Whispering to Myself in the Bathroom Mirror:

The affirmations only work when they’re small, grounded, and repeated. I’ve made mine part of my coffee ritual, wedged between brushing my teeth and pretending I still remember my schedule.

Here’s how I structure them now:

1. Who I am: I am someone who brings clarity to chaos

2. Why it matters: Because I want my clients to feel calm and confident

3. What I do: I organise the mess into something simple every day

That little combo beats a vague “be more productive” sticky note every time.

The Hybrid Option—Use Both When It Makes Sense:

I’m not saying SMART goals are evil. They just work best when the road ahead is clear, the conditions are stable, and there’s no toddler sneezing on your keyboard.

That said, I did set a SMART-ish goal last year. I committed to publishing one blog and one video every day. And I’ve done it. Consistently. Not because I had a spreadsheet guilt-tripping me, but because I combined it with affirmations like:

“I am someone who shares what I learn.”

“I am someone who finishes things.”

So while the daily publishing is a concrete target, the motivation behind it is rooted in who I’m becoming—not just what I’m trying to tick off.

Here’s the balance that works:

Use SMART goals when:

• There’s a clear destination

• A deadline has real stakes

• You need structure or team alignment

Use affirmations when:

• You’re figuring things out as you go

• You’re building resilience or recovering momentum

• You want the change to last beyond a finish line

Start with identity. Use structure when you’re ready. Go back to affirmations when life gets weird.

And in between? Just keep showing up as the person you're becoming. That counts.

If This Sounds Like You, You’re Not Alone:

This isn’t a productivity hack. It’s a self-recognition tool.

If you’re the kind of business owner who thrives on meaning more than metrics, affirmations help you move without burnout.

If you’ve tried SMART goals and found them brittle, this isn’t weakness. It’s wiring.

You’re not failing. You’re adapting.

And with a few small words said daily, you might surprise yourself into becoming that version of you you wrote about in the eulogy.

The one who followed through—not because she had to, but because it felt like her.

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Related Articles:

1. Duct Tape Marketing by John Jantsch Review: What It Gets Right About Small Business

If you liked the idea of daily systems that don't rely on motivation, this review explains why structure—not hustle—is what keeps momentum going.

2. Building a StoryBrand 2.0 By Donald Miller Review

Curious how Donald Miller's eulogy exercise fits into business messaging? This review shows how clarity in your brand works just like clarity in your habits.

3. Marketing Strategy vs Tactics: Why One Builds Trust and the Other Kills Profit

If SMART goals felt like endless to-do lists, this article helps you zoom out. It focuses on building strategic direction that lasts—just like identity-based change.

4. 5 Small Business Survival Strategies for 2025—How to Thrive When Everything Feels Uncertain

This one speaks directly to the messiness of real business life. If you’re juggling uncertainty, this gives grounded advice that matches the affirmations approach.

5. Marketing for Small Business 2026: What Actually Works Now

This roundup breaks down what’s actually working for businesses with small budgets and no marketing team—aka, most of us. A perfect pairing with identity-led growth.

Frequently Asked Questions About Using Affirmations Instead of SMART Goals

1. Do affirmations really work for setting goals?

Yes, especially if you use them to reinforce identity-based habits. Research shows that affirmations help your brain form new patterns through repetition, making it easier to stick to positive behaviours over time.

2. Why do SMART goals not work for me?

SMART goals often assume that motivation is stable and life is predictable. If you’re neurodivergent, burnt out, or dealing with constant change, you may need more flexible, process-based systems instead of fixed outcome targets.

3. Can I still achieve big things without SMART goals?

Absolutely. Many people reach major milestones by focusing on small, consistent actions tied to who they want to become. The progress feels slower but it’s often more sustainable.

4. How do I write effective affirmations?

Use a simple three-part structure:

1. What you're committed to

2. Why it matters

3. What you do each day
   For example: “I am someone who shares helpful content because small businesses deserve clarity. I publish one helpful thing daily.”

5. Are affirmations enough on their own?

They’re a strong foundation, especially for mindset and consistency. But combining them with structure—like habits, reminders, or occasional SMART-style checkpoints—can speed up progress once you’ve built momentum.

6. Is this better for ADHD or neurodivergent people?

Yes. Many people with ADHD or similar traits respond better to small, interest-based actions rather than pressure-heavy deadlines. Affirmations help create momentum without triggering overwhelm.

7. What’s the difference between identity-based and outcome-based goals?

Outcome-based goals focus on what you want to achieve (“I want to lose 10kg”). Identity-based goals focus on who you want to be (“I am someone who moves my body daily”). The latter tends to last longer because it builds into how you see yourself.

8. How do I track progress without numbers?

Track identity evidence instead. For example:

• “Did I act like a writer today?”

• “Did I move my body today?”
  This keeps you focused on behaviour, not perfection.

9. Can I still use SMART goals with affirmations?

Yes. Many people start with affirmations to get moving, then layer in SMART elements once they know what works. It’s not either-or. Use what fits the stage you’re in.

10. What’s a good daily habit to pair with affirmations?

Read them right after your morning coffee or while brushing your teeth. Pairing affirmations with an existing routine makes them easier to stick with and harder to forget.